tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7534931354475367332024-03-13T14:37:45.368-07:00Funny How That Works...Random musings from someone who is much too young to be described as "curmudgeonly"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-61292897920787924902015-07-27T19:14:00.002-07:002015-07-27T22:22:34.258-07:00The String Cheese Experiment, Pt. 4: A Streetcar Named DisgustIt's that time again!<br>
<br>
I am still terrible at updating this blog, so I figured it was time to bring back an old standby: Mr Steven Pam (from the Australia) was gracious enough to give me some random titles of nonexistent movies, and I am going to create something from nothing for your entertainment. Also, today I got a shiny new laptop and want to take it for a spin!<br>
<br>
For the sake of the viewing public (and the fact that we have been through this song and dance before) I will add a level of difficulty to this endeavour; both titles have something in common with an already existing movie, but I will make none of the synopses even close to original subject matter. That would be lazy. And I am not laz- oh, yes I am. Lazy. Super lazy. But one has to draw the line somewhere, so why not here, on an issue that means totally nothing?<br>
<br>
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<u>101 Standard Poodles</u><br>
The President is in danger! After a routine traffic stop, the Secret Service have deduced that the President's next public appearance at the Dallas Bounce Sheet Hall of Fame will have a tragic ending; assassination is afoot! The only clue the authorities have is a lone hair fibre: that of a purebred poodle. With only hours to find the potential killer among Dallas' 100-poodle population, the government turns to a hero it previously discarded: CUDDLES. Cuddles thought his war was over, but with the fateful hour drawing near, he is the Man's furry secret weapon... for who better to track down a brainwashed homicidal poodle than...another poodle? Is Cuddles up to the challenge? Is his new obnoxious partner Kosmo playing both sides? Will the decidedly feline demons of his past stay buried? Will his failure to save a septuagenarian named Irma from choking on a piece of carrot cake come back to haunt him?<br>
<i><b>ACTION. </b></i><br>
<i><b>SUSPENSE. </b></i><br>
<i><b>AN UNCOMFORTABLE AMOUNT OF BUTT-SNIFFING. </b></i><br>
<i><b>THIS IS THE CANINE THRILL-RIDE YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE WAITING FOR</b>.</i><br>
<br>
<u>Pride and Vegemite</u><br>
What would you do if you couldn't lose? What would you do if the world was sort of yours?<br>
Jerry Bennington thinks there are no more surprises in life; he has a regular job, a regular girlfriend, a regular dog, and a regular bathroom schedule. Little does he know that all these things were going to be flipped UPSIDE DOWN after he tried Vegemite for the first time! Part of a rare genetic bloodline that derives super-powers from common Vegemite spread, Jerry discovers he has the rare ability to correct grammar and spelling FLAWLESSLY in everyone around him!! Pretty soon, the aforementioned job, girlfriend, and dog are LONG gone, and the constant consumption of Vegemite takes its toll; what can a man do with a flawless vocabulary and grasp of the English language, but no creative skills? Especially when he can't stray far from a latrine? After a couple of unfortunate game show incidents, Jerry is about to lose hope, until a mysterious stranger shows up to his home with a proposition; <i>become a copy editor for a local tourist website! </i><br>
<i><b>The attainable, anticlimactic adventure of the autumn is HERE!!!</b></i><br>
<i><br></i>
*What, you were expecting The Avengers?<br>
He's a full-grown adult with a permanent case of the runs, and his power is SPELLING; I dare you to do better.*<br>
<br>
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And there we are!<br>
It felt good to flex the creative muscles again. I will try to be a bit more regular from here on out... Not like,Vegemite Regular... just regular.<br>
<br>
Until Next Time,<br>
<br>
Jared<br>
<br>
What I'm listening to:<br>
I've been a huge fan of Matthew Perryman Jones for a while now; just an amazing and prolific singer/songwriter from the States. He just released a new EP called Cold Answer on July 17, and it has been playing on repeat the whole time I have been writing this post.<br>
Also, I just picked up a couple of new bands recently that are great summer music, so I am pushing three picks! It's been a while. Humor me.<br>
<br>
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Artist: Matthew Perryman Jones</div>
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Album: Cold Answer<br>
Award: Most Likely To Make You Rethink Your Life</div>
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Artist: Misterwives</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Album: Our Own House<br>
Award: Most Likely To Make You Unashamedly Sing the WOO Part In the Car<br>
Secondary Award: Best Summer Jams Pick</div>
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Artist: Myzica</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Album: Myzica - EP<br>
Award: Bringing Back 80's Pop with Contemporary Style</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Soj0qPy0yXo" width="560"></iframe></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-92047628510108606942015-06-25T20:49:00.002-07:002015-06-25T20:53:02.116-07:00Thursday Evenings with John MayerSo... I'm back. I was just wistfully thinking about the blog yesterday, and about how I missed it... and then I realized I have complete control of the situation. And thus... the below.<br /><br /><br /><b><u>The conversation I had with John Mayer whilst driving in my car tonight:</u></b><br /><br /><br /><b>JOHN MAYER:</b><br /><br />Who says I can't get stoned?<br /><br />Turn off the lights and the telephone;<br /><br />Me in my house alone...<br /><br />Who says I can't get stoned?<br /><br /><b><br /></b><div>
<b>ME:</b> The POLICE, John. The police say you can't get stoned.<br /><br /><br /><b>JOHN MAYER:</b><br /><br />Who says I can't be free?<br /><br />From all of the things that I used to be<br /><br />Rewrite my history<br /><br />Who says I can't be free?<br /><br /><br /><b>ME</b>: TWITTER, JOHN. Twitter is why you can't rewrite the past. The sheer size and volume of offensively ignorant things you have said on Twitter makes this impossible, I am afraid.<br /><br /><b>JOHN MAYER</b>: ...<br /><br /><b>ME</b>: Yeeeah... I'm just the messenger, buddy.<div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4xxTPc_9NQ8/VYzKRCeZEhI/AAAAAAAAEHk/xBh4rf9JqRM/s1600/mayer_002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4xxTPc_9NQ8/VYzKRCeZEhI/AAAAAAAAEHk/xBh4rf9JqRM/s320/mayer_002.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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What I am listening to right now: Guess. </div>
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Until Next time,</div>
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<br /></div>
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Jared</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-20500431418875362602015-01-12T08:59:00.000-08:002015-01-12T09:04:56.878-08:00The Hounds of Winter/Monday Morning Whine-A-ThonSo My Beautiful Wife is gone. For Eight Days. Which will be the longest we have been apart in fifteen- and-a-half years of marriage. <div><br></div><div>In recognition of the fact that there literally billions of people in the world right now who have it WAY worse than I do, I will NOT go on ceaselessly about how everything is better when she is around, or about how she lights up a room by entering it, or any of those other COMPLETELY TRUE sentiments;<div><br>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Instead, I will just post the lyrics to an outstanding Sting song that encapsulates my feelings on the subject pretty accurately... And bleakly. The song is from the Sting Golden Era, which consisted of the best two albums of his career: Ten Summoner's Tales, and the follow up, Mercury Falling. This is from Mercury Falling.<br>
<br>
Buy the album.<br>
<br>
Wallow with me.<br>
<br>
<u>The Hounds of Winter</u></div>
<div>
<br><div style="text-align: start;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: center;">Mercury falling</span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I rise from my bed,</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Collect my thoughts together</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I have to hold my head</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
It seems that she's gone</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
And somehow I am pinned by</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
The Hounds of Winter</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Howling in the wind</div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I walk through the day</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
My coat around my ears</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I look for my companion</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I have to dry my tears</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
It seems that she's gone</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Leaving me too soon</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I'm as dark as December</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I'm as cold as the Man in the Moon</div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div>
</span></span><div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: center;">I still see her face</span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
As beautiful as day</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
It's easy to remember</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Remember my love that way</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
All I hear is that lonesome sound</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
The Hounds of Winter</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
They follow me down</div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div>
</span></span><div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: center;">I can't make up the fire</span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
The way that she could</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I spend all my days</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
In the search for dry wood</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Board all the windows and close the front door</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I can't believe she won't be here anymore</div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div>
</span></span><div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: center;">I still see her face</span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
As beautiful as day</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
It's easy to remember</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Remember my love that way</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
All I hear is that lonesome sound</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
The Hounds of Winter</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
They follow me down</div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div>
</span></span><div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: center;">A season for joy</span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
A season for sorrow</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Where she's gone</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
I will surely, surely follow</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
She brightened my day</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
She warmed the coldest night</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
The Hounds of Winter</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
They got me in their sights</div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div>
</span></span><div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: center;">I still see her face</span></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
As beautiful as day</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
It's easy to remember</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
Remember my love that way</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
All I hear is that lonesome sound</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
The Hounds of Winter</div>
</span><span style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: start;">
They harry me down.</div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div><div style="text-align: start;">Until next time, </div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div><div style="text-align: start;">Jared</div>
</span></span></div>
<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-x1WkU0QTmwM/VLP-QN0CUlI/AAAAAAAADfw/MqT9iM5D47A/s640/blogger-image--1406108660.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-x1WkU0QTmwM/VLP-QN0CUlI/AAAAAAAADfw/MqT9iM5D47A/s640/blogger-image--1406108660.jpg"></a></div></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-45495618601681282292014-12-15T21:48:00.003-08:002014-12-15T21:48:33.599-08:00I'm coming back.Just you wait. My Beautiful Wife is leaving for THREE WHOLE MONTHS to finish her schooling, and I will be left to my own devices for the larger bulk of that time...<br />
<br />
...And being left to my own devices, if you will remember, is the reason this blog started in the first place.<br />
<br />
Expect posts.<br />
<br />
And abject depression and misery.<br />
<br />
...<br />
...<br />
...<br />
... Mostly the misery thing.<br />
<br />
Jared<br />
<br />
Listening to:<br />
<br />
The sound of my own blood pumping through my ear canal veins.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-32614616848525773182014-05-27T23:56:00.001-07:002014-05-27T23:56:14.614-07:00I've been cheating on you.That's right, Blogger... My last post was not by accident; I did indeed redirect my readers to a Wordpress site: <a href="http://www.whisperedwords.ca/">www.whisperedwords.ca</a>.<br />
<br />
That's right... WORDPRESS.<br />
<br />
I have been blogging on Wordpress on the side for a while now. I am tired of living the lie, so I posted that last link to just get it out there. I enjoy Wordpress. I have had a taste of Wordpress' features, and have found that it pleases me in some ways that you cannot, Blogger. There is a level of customization available on Wordpress that you just can't match, with your HTML copy-and-paste scripts and your trial and error philosophy. Also, Wordpress cooks better, and anticipates my needs before I even think of them!<br />
<br />
To be honest, I feared Wordpress at first- I feared what would happen if you found out that I was "Wordpressing" on the side, but when I sampled Wordpress' wares, I was hooked.<br />
<br />
I don't know what to say, other than the truth: WP is better for my music site. My band needs the kind of customization that you can't give, so I had to go somewhere else to be satisfied.<br />
<br />
I didn't mean to hurt you. In fact, I still like your Google-centric focus and ease of updating from mobile devices (even if the media add options are a tad stingy), and for my little humor blog, you work just fine... uncomplicated to update and share. But that just isn't enough for me any more. A more robust website needs a more robust blog system with crisp, adaptable templates, and you just didn't have it. So I had to go elsewhere.<br />
<br />
I am sorry it had to go this far and be so public, but I had to get your attention, didn't I? We haven't seen each other much as of late, and I wanted to make sure we are clear; I will still blog on you. I just need to see other bloggers for my band-related needs. It's not you... it's me.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xTEEVeU6dj0/U4WIWEeTkwI/AAAAAAAABoo/JBRmDYTJ3iE/s1600/whengirlssayitsnotyouitsme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xTEEVeU6dj0/U4WIWEeTkwI/AAAAAAAABoo/JBRmDYTJ3iE/s1600/whengirlssayitsnotyouitsme.jpg" height="322" width="400" /></a></div>
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Until next time,</div>
<br />
JaredAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-12835375381111224642014-05-27T23:33:00.001-07:002014-05-27T23:33:40.187-07:00BIG news on the horizon! Also, adorable cat picture. » Whisperedwords.ca<a href="http://whisperedwords.ca/big-news-horizon-yup/">BIG news on the horizon! Also, adorable cat picture. » Whisperedwords.ca</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-12448223249334369782014-05-06T15:36:00.001-07:002014-05-07T23:04:19.150-07:00Ten hours better spent...<p>
</p>
Greetings!<br><br><br><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">*NERD ALERT*</span></b><br><br><br>I recently tried to watch the first Peter Jackson Hobbit movie for the second time, and realized that, despite the fact that I love the source material and the way Jackson made Middle Earth come to life... That movie was not very well made, pacing-wise. It was padded pretty substantially to make three movies happen, and it felt like it. I also was thinking about the stories told about what the third film is going to look like; it will be the Battle of the Five Armies, and then will bridge the gap between the Hobbit movies and the Lord of the Rings.<br><br>UNNECESSARY. <br><br>That bridging has already been done IN THE EXISTING FILMS IN A NUMBER OF WAYS. You know how this time could be better spent? This:<p>
<br></p>
<p>
</p>
<img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-R0jzamknnH8/U2nifh_CoeI/AAAAAAAABg4/7L-hyrhXB94/8CCDB852-D91F-4270-94A3-6F4F17B76332.png" style="height: 737px; width: 558px;"><br>
<span style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>My beloved 50th anniversary edition of the Hobbit, with beautiful paintings by Michael Hague for illustration. I have read this so many times I lost count. My mom gave it to me when I was eight!</i></span></span><br>
<i style="text-align: center;"><br></i>
<br>Just read the Hobbit book! It will take you less than the ten cumulative hours it takes to watch these movies, and tells the story in the much-beloved charming Tolkien fashion; No ridiculously drawn-out sword battles and really bloody weird obese Orc songs, no forty-minute supper scene, no manufactured cliffhangers or Big Bads created specifically to fill time...<br><br>Again, I do dig that we have Tolkien on the screen at all... But between the six endings of Return of the King and the "supper in Bag End" scene in the first Hobbit film ALONE, somebody's gotta tell Peter to stop. He made a mess of the Two Towers and created a Nazgul/Frodo confrontation that NEVER happened, simply to give a movie that already had an AMAZING set piece and conflict resolution with the Battle of Helm's Deep another conflict and resolution. And what was that conflict and resolution? Let's see...<br><br><i><b>Frodo is tired. Frodo wants to put the ring on. Frodo knows he shouldn't put the ring on. But Frodo REALLY wants to put the ring on! Oh no, a flying whatchamacallit! ...now Frodo REALLY really wants to put that ring on! But he doesn't. Conflict over. Movie finished. My forbearance: also finished!</b></i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Dear Peter Jackson,</span></b><br>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Tolkien actually DID create a cliffhanger ending for The Two Towers; It was the part where Sam thinks Frodo is dead, takes the sword and ring, and leaves on his own to complete the mission. That cliffhanger KILLED me when I was a kid. It would have been perfect. Why you gotta disrespect, Pete?</span></b><br>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Love,</span></b><br>
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Jared</span></b><br>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<br><br>Rant complete. Maybe now that it's out on paper, My Beautiful Wife will never have to hear it again?<br><br>... Meh, probably not. I'm diabolical that way.<br><br><br><br>Until next time,<br><br>Jared<br>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-86837668676154376362014-04-23T16:40:00.001-07:002014-04-24T19:23:18.701-07:00Not exactly weekly, I guess...That didn't last long.<h2>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yeah, as the title "suggests", my commitment to weekly updating went right out the window rather quickly.</span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">... Meh.</span></h2>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Anyway, I bought a new Bluetooth headset the other day, and the sheer unbridled joy and excitement I experienced from this purchase of something that most people avoid like the plague forced me to ask myself some hard questions. </span></div>
<div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">The reason I own one is simple: my job requires me to spend a lot of time on my cell phone for necessary communication, keeping up with my staff, and the dreaded CONFERENCE CALLS. I spend a number of hours each week on the phone, so a bad Bluetooth earpiece that is not comfortable and doesn't have decent battery life and well-thought-out features would suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. So, I bought a new, high-grade one, and I am still thoroughly geeked-out over it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">So I <i>was</i> seriously self-examining for a bit, and then stopped doing that, and was awesome instead! (Thank you, NPH) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I will now list my various non-standard obsessions for your enjoyment and judgement:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b>My smartphone wallpaper theme: </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I have purchased a lot of one-dollar wallpaper redesigns. Does my phone function better? No. Does it change anything except that the wallpaper looks like the inside of a clock, or Spider-Man? No. Will I most likely keep on buying and changing it? Yes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b>The aforementioned Bluetooth devices:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I buy nothing but Jawbone devices now for my earpiece needs. I started with the Jawbone Icon a few years ago, went through two of those (they make them rather small and unobtrusive to keep a low profile, and DANG do I lose track of them easily) I upgraded to the Jawbone Era Shadowbox and bought two of those, and now the new Era by Jawbone is just on the market- even tinier, built-in case/battery charge pack, and is molded to fit the natural shape of an ear... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> <i>That's right. It's that tiny. And sounds amazing.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b>Superhero movies: </b>I'm a dude. I like superheroes. I like movies. Do the math. Which leads me to:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b>Graphic novels: </b>I have a weakness for graphic novels of many types. Marvel and DC superhero titles, hard-boiled crime fiction, supernatural thriller, modern myth, you name it. If it is well-written, I dig it. I have a couple of BIG shelving units in the Man-Cave filled up with trade paperback collections of my favorite titles, but have recently gone completely digital. Man, is that a space-saver! Also, reading graphic novels on an iPad with a good comic app and backlit... It's like they were meant to be read that way. Vibrant and rich color, and you can take years of story lines with you every where you go!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">My favorite collected titles: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><i>The Sandman by Neil Gaiman</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><i>Y the Last Man by Brian K. Vaughn</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><i>Ex Machina by Brian K. Vaughn</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><i>Fables by Bill Willingham</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">(These titles aren't for kids, but are some of most amazing literary achievements of our time. University courses are taught on the The Sandman series alone, which is a study of the nature of story and myth)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Mostly I follow certain authors; the art means nothing without real film-or-novel-level writing behind it. Sometimes you can forgive shoddy art for great writing, though; case in point, Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. Terrible, terrible art, but what a story!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Strangely enough, even in this vast city with some pretty successful comic book/collector shops, I have no friends who share this affinity with me, and therefore no one to discuss the graphic novel medium with! I will occasionally meet someone who says "Oh yeah, I love comics!", and so I start talking Marvel vs DC and how you don't really have to choose, and they blank out completely. And then, I realize that I was misled- they had at one time read ONE graphic novel series that a friend recommended, but are not a true aficionado of the medium, and are now looking at me like I am a freak.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b>Bad Sci-Fi:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I have a weakness for what could be considered Empirically Bad Television, as long as there is a science fiction swing to it. I have seriously slogged through every aired episode of every Stargate TV series, Farscape, Andromeda, Defiance, the Cape (R.I.P.), all available Star Treks, and numerous other televised abominations that I have no excuse for.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b>Music and Movie Minutia:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">About 90% percent of my brain, apparently (a friend made this well-informed guesstimate a while back after a discussion of Star Wars theory).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I... think that is enough freakishness for one sitting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Until Next time,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Jerek</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-7019466058644939672014-04-12T17:07:00.000-07:002014-04-13T01:52:11.878-07:00Three Thousand? Really?<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Hello All!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">This blog has recently passed three thousand hits, which leads me to believe that there is a conspiracy afoot, as this number of page visits could not possibly have been generated by the small number of family and friends who actually read this little blog when I only semi-occasionally post to it (I am getting better). </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Below, I will list the various possible end games of this insidious conspiracy to make me feel good about myself. Any similarity to a book you have read or a movie you have seen is purely coincidental;</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>1.</b> This is a plot by small white mice (in reality pan-dimensional alien beings) to discover the answer to Life, The Universe, And Everything. By manipulating the human heart, they will solve the equation of L, TU, and E whilst watching and critiquing my mode of dress and sundry odious personal habits for their enjoyment. (Pan-dimensional alien mice are much cleaner and more judgemental than normal mice)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>2.</b> The results of my blog will continue to be artificially inflated by the international Nakatomi Corporation until they reveal their involvement and send me a plane ticket in the mail stating that I have "Won the internet". They will subsequently invite me to their L.A. headquarters to "come out to the coast", "get together", and "have a few laughs"... I take them up on their offer, go about finding the newest carpet I can, and make fists with my toes until a noise outside startles me...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>3.</b> The mysterious forces behind my inflated blog visits are trying to lower the self-esteem of EVERY SINGLE BLOGGER on the internet. This gambit will result in lackluster web traffic as the other guys just phone it in, which leads to lackluster real-world sales, which sparks a tiny economic recession in the province where I live (which has proven fairly recession-proof as far as the rest of the world is concerned), and spreads outward at an incredible rate. Somehow, ObamaCare will be blamed. (Seriously, America?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>4.</b> My <a href="http://jaredfunk.blogspot.ca/2013/07/the-bachelor-chronicles-part-deux.html" target="_blank">previous Furby-related post</a> caught the attention of all the wrong people. The Furby Corporation wants me dead, pure and simple. They are inflating the blog's numbers by just a little so as not to make me suspicious, and (hoping that I attribute it to my awesomeness) patiently wait now to see if I spiral into excess and die an appropriately rockstar death.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>5.</b> The members of the <a href="http://i.giftrunk.com/qc3zwv.gif" target="_blank">Barenaked Ladies</a> are checking my site multiple times daily to see if they are mentioned, but I won't give them the satisfaction. That's right, I STRONGLY dislike and stridently avoid your music, you ridiculously named circus act. Chickety-Chinese-Chicken Guy and friends... Get a real job. You're ruining it for actual serious Canadian musicians.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">6. There is a good chance that remaining members of the Beatles might be playing the same game as the Barenaked Ladies. I have to logically conclude that they know who I am, because every time The Beatles come up in conversation, I am led to believe by everyone present that I am the ONLY GUY IN THE HISTORY OF THE BLOODY WORLD who doesn't really care for the Beatles or think they are an irreplaceable piece of the world's musical history. If this is true, by logical standards, the living members of the Beatles have all known about me and my not worshipping their entire catalog since I formed this opinion in early junior high. So, to you remaining Beatles I say,</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">"Move on with your lives. I'm just one guy, and it's not like I HATE your stuff or anything... I'm just not a fan! Also, please ask 98.3fm in Saskatoon to maybe play 'Hey Jude' less than forty times per day, thanks."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Until we meet again,</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Jared</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">P.S. That's right, Barenaked Ladies fans... I went there. If you want to listen to some good music, I am listening to:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>Artist</b>: Broken Bells</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><b>Album</b>: After The Disco</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Danger Mouse (producer extraordinaire) and James Mercer (frontman of The Shins) released their self-titled album a few years ago and sewed up the Best Summer Groove Album category rather quickly. The follow-up "Meyrin Fields EP" took the laid-back grooves and turned them on their head by adding a playful urgency and lively pacing to great effect (The song Windows comes to mind).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">This time around, they have made the sound more complex, but kept the magic intact. Not pigeonholed as summer grooves so easily this time, the new album creates a number of different and subtle moods to digest and challenge you, but the pure musicianship present here smooths out any rough edges that could have presented themselves. This one has taken a bit longer to really sink in, and nothing quite hits the magical high of "The Ghost Inside" from their debut album, but a few songs come very close, notably "After the Disco", "Control", and "Holding on for Life". A mellow and slightly sombre vibe comes through, but these guys are talented enough to drop it in and yank it out at will, and with skill enough to make greatness present here. Just start at track 1 and let it play.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-54804760028907083972014-04-04T21:26:00.001-07:002014-04-04T22:19:37.333-07:00Three completely unrelated things<div dir="ltr">
So here are three completely unrelated things that I want to talk about (which is really the only qualifier for what goes on here) :</div>
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1. I just saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier. It was genuinely fantastic! I pretty much just bold-faced lied to My Beautiful Wife for the last week about how confident I was regarding what kind of film it was going to be (I sold it as a "great Bourne-style spy movie that just happens to involve Captain America and the Black Widow" ), and as chance would have it, the universe made me whatever the opposite is of a liar. I think. I may be oversimplifying. </div>
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2. I knew that someday it would come... A smaller, spunkier, sleeker model of high-velocity air hand drier. Not only does this thing take up half the space of the <a href="http://jaredfunk.blogspot.ca/2013/06/xlerator-haiku.html" target="_blank">XLERATOR-brand hand drier that I wrote a haiku about all those months ago</a>, it has a bold <a href="http://www.wallsave.com/wallpapers/1024x768/iron-man-arc-reactor-image/97611/iron-man-arc-reactor-image-modding-the-from-sideshow-page-97611.jpg" target="_blank">Iron Man-style triangle</a> that turns from red to green when you put your hands under it... And it shines a blue LED light down onto your hands as you are drying!!! I cannot express how much <b>I MUST PURCHASE STOCK IN THIS COMPANY. I HAVE INCLUDED A PICTUR</b>- oh, sorry- I have included a picture of this marvel of modern air movement technology for your enjoyment. </div>
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<a href="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-aOXdR5lHkFg/Uz-NMsQtthI/AAAAAAAABb8/ZY1hP1P8NEE/s640/DSC_0434.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-aOXdR5lHkFg/Uz-NMsQtthI/AAAAAAAABb8/ZY1hP1P8NEE/s640/DSC_0434.JPG" /></a></div>
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<i>Look at that. A little part of my brain just went "Sqeeeee!!" with delight.</i></div>
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3. I have decided that this blog needs to go back to one post a week. I miss it, and the creative outlet keeps me sane. I will henceforth be publishing new blog posts weekly, rain or shine. </div>
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Unless I don't. </div>
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...Don't tell me what to do!! </div>
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<b><a href="http://wearelibertarians.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Baby.jpg" target="_blank">...Nobody puts Baby in a corner!!!</a></b></div>
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Currently listening to:<br />
audiobook: New Spring; written by Robert Jordan, and read by Michael Kramer and Kate Redding. </div>
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Also, listening to the entire NEEDTOBREATHE catalogue on random. I like listening through an entire CD to hear the story the band wanted to tell, but sometimes I like to skip ahead. Sue me.</div>
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Here is the song of theirs that I am currently a little obsessed with! Give it a listen if you like, y'now, GOOD things. If you don't like good things, well... I dunno. Just dig out your old Nickelback albums, I guess.<br />
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Until next time, </div>
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<div dir="ltr">
<u>Jared</u></div>
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<!-- Blogger automated replacement: "https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Flh3.ggpht.com%2F-aOXdR5lHkFg%2FUz-NMsQtthI%2FAAAAAAAABb8%2FZY1hP1P8NEE%2Fs640%2FDSC_0434.JPG&container=blogger&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*" with "https://lh3.ggpht.com/-aOXdR5lHkFg/Uz-NMsQtthI/AAAAAAAABb8/ZY1hP1P8NEE/s640/DSC_0434.JPG" -->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-30159430697197282172014-02-26T13:33:00.001-08:002014-04-04T21:54:34.068-07:00A little help from the fanbase...<p dir="ltr">Perhaps because she knew that I am a creative dry well right now (I'm using it all up in the final stretch to finish my album), my sister sent me a photo and asked me to caption it. I will welcome feedback and additional caption suggestions in the comments section, but here's what I have so far:</p><p dir="ltr"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-1c7mYuNgi50/Uw5ftS3LuZI/AAAAAAAABSM/fjscTQd5JWE/s640/blogger-image--1938836792.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-1c7mYuNgi50/Uw5ftS3LuZI/AAAAAAAABSM/fjscTQd5JWE/s640/blogger-image--1938836792.jpg"></a></div><p dir="ltr"><br></p>"Even teddy bears get the blues" (that one was my sister's)<p></p><p dir="ltr">My entries: </p><p dir="ltr">"Apparently, Randall never got the hang of hibernation"</p><p dir="ltr">"In retrospect, I might have thought better of this when I saw the bees had a weight room in there"</p><p dir="ltr">"Well this is embarrassing. I assume that real bears don't get hung up on a seam this easily"</p><p dir="ltr"><br></p><p dir="ltr">That's the best I have for now! But I will leave the caption contest open for any who want to try. I will award a prize, but the prize will be worthless, and I get to decide if your entry is funnier or more apropos than mine. </p><p dir="ltr">I probably should have written a bittersweet haiku about childhood's fleeting innocence, but those are the WORST.</p><p dir="ltr">Until next time,</p><p dir="ltr">Jared</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-68051444912993643132014-01-27T23:29:00.003-08:002014-01-28T14:20:56.095-08:00Thankfully DOESN'T Do Whatever a Spider Can: A HaikuLong time no speak!!<br />
<br />
So an announcement first:<br />
On advice from counsel, from here on out I will be posting all my band and music-related updates to my brand-spanking-new <a href="http://www.whisperedwords.ca/" target="_blank">Whispered Words website!!</a> I have to learn Wordpress now (I JUST loosely figured out Blogger, for crying out loud), but I have been assured by certain parties that it is a life skill that should be learned. <a href="http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/sad.gif" target="_blank">I have my doubts.</a><br />
<br />
Recently at work I had one of those "defining moments" that tells you who you are deep down. Here's how it went:<br />
<br />
I run a cell phone store for a major national company.<br />
<br />
A client came in and asked me if he could get "web" on his phone. I pointed my wrists at his BlackBerry, touched my palms with my middle fingers, and said "thwip thwip".<br />
<br />
He didn't get it. I held my peace and laughed uproariously (to myself, tragically, alone) after he was gone. I can't help but feel that was a defining moment somehow.<br />
<br />
And now... a haiku.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.wolfgnards.com/index.php/2010/02/17/mechanical-web-shooters-vs-organic-web-s" target="_blank">Good thing you made those</a><br />
<a href="http://www.wolfgnards.com/index.php/2010/02/17/mechanical-web-shooters-vs-organic-web-s" target="_blank">webshooters, as shooting webs</a><br />
<a href="http://www.wolfgnards.com/index.php/2010/02/17/mechanical-web-shooters-vs-organic-web-s" target="_blank">from your butt is gross</a><br />
<br />
...ah<i>THANK</i> you.<br />
<br />
<br />
Jared<br />
<br />
P.S. That's right, that entire haiku is a weblink. You wanna fight about it?<br />
<br />
<img src="http://venturebrosblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Picture-24.png" /><br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-64577555713446102452013-12-08T14:20:00.003-08:002013-12-21T13:28:18.980-08:00A Good Song, a GREAT Cause! Larry and I just finished recording a Christmas song called<b> <a href="http://www.whisperedwords.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">Carol for a Child</a></b>, and after some discussion,have decided that any proceeds from the sale of the single in December should go to Doug and Carolyn Anderson of Saskatoon, SK; their son Micah is very ill right now, and we want to be a blessing to them in this tough time.<br />
<br />
Two things, then:<br />
1. Check<b> <a href="http://shar.es/DF4o5" target="_blank">this article</a></b> from the local newspaper that talks about what life is like for the Anderson family right now.<br />
2. Go to <a href="http://www.whisperedwords.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank"><b>my Bandcamp page</b></a> and purchase the song, for whatever amount you feel led! All the proceeds go to the Andersons.<br />
<br />
It is a heckuva thing when communities put aside differences and rally together, and not just to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1dpQKntj_w" target="_blank">"like" cat videos on Youtube.</a><br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
<br />
Jared<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S5yUQspYmm0/UqTzCa0cyNI/AAAAAAAABIQ/_Vfacs2MUqM/s1600/41KSRfkLAgL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S5yUQspYmm0/UqTzCa0cyNI/AAAAAAAABIQ/_Vfacs2MUqM/s1600/41KSRfkLAgL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Next year: Carol for a Pooch.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-53338096757626995932013-12-03T05:12:00.000-08:002013-12-21T11:38:04.870-08:00Word from the bathroom floor<div dir="ltr">
Earlier today:<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, that in the aftermath, while little cartoon stars were circling my head, I thought I saw Jesus.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, I considered becoming a football fan.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, I had a Ren and Stimpy 6-years-past-the-expiry cocktail weenie hallucination. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, the elderly lady coming out of the adjoining ladies washroom (divided by a solid concrete wall) looked concerned for me as she followed me out of the exit.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, I began to understand multidimensional String Theory and its practical applications; just for a minute, though.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard that my mobile phone became sentient and self-aware, realized it was worried about me, and tried dialing 911 for help.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, I started re-thinking my opinion of Tom Cruise's sanity.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, I started to write my last will and testament, only to realize it was the toilet trying to unduly influence me to name it my sole beneficiary.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, I briefly entertained the idea of a Mexican holiday.<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, I grew a third kidney. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard, a nearby Labrador retriever nearly went insane from not being able to help. He found a local kid and pushed him down a well so he could rescue him and not feel so overwhelmingly helpless any more. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I barfed so hard that the ship jumped to warp 6.5 and then abruptly stopped inside a nearby nebula, stumping the Romulans and saving the Enterprise so we can conduct repairs to the starboard nacelle! </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Seriously. This sucks. <br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<u>Jared</u><br />
<u><br /></u></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Location:<a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?q=The%20bathroom%20floor,%20dummy!&z=10">The bathroom floor, dummy!</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-82533523156241018262013-11-25T15:16:00.003-08:002013-11-25T15:30:30.363-08:00Finished product, long overdue!I decided to hold off last night to give the Saskatchewan Roughriders some respect and time for their Grey Cup win <strike>hooliganism, shenanigans, and tomfoolery</strike> celebration, but now here it is: <br /><br />I am not hugely into holiday music, so no one was more surprised than I when I wrote a pretty Christmas song a wee while back, and recently recorded it with Mr. Larry Flowers and my producer, Colin!! And not only did I record it, but I have released it on Bandcamp today to listen to and purchase! Click the "Music" tab on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/whisperedwordsproject?directed_target_id=0">Whispered Words</a> page, or click the link below to listen, buy, or share! Or all three!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/track=2343440118/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/notracklist=true/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 442px; width: 350px;"><a href="http://whisperedwords.bandcamp.com/track/carol-for-a-child">Carol for a Child by Whispered Words</a></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-80055725262985108322013-10-20T23:52:00.001-07:002013-10-27T13:36:38.637-07:00This is getting Meta<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I have been using my email to send myself encouraging letters from the past. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">"Hello future Jared", I say, "what is the future like? Can our cars fly yet? Did the American government ever sort out all their BS? Is it possible that you are now more good-looking than when I sent this letter?"</span></div><div><br></div><div>"Hello, past Jared" I write profoundly, "the auto industry can still barely figure out how not to kill us all on four wheels, so I don't think the flying car is happening soon. As for the US govt; all they know and have been taught about how to run a political system is BS, so they haven't even really considered dropping said BS yet. As for my looks, you of all people should know that it isn't possible to look better than you do now!!"</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-HFhgp_BQ3lk/UmTPImFmI-I/AAAAAAAAAks/x-2q_iMmJFg/s640/blogger-image-1246541868.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-HFhgp_BQ3lk/UmTPImFmI-I/AAAAAAAAAks/x-2q_iMmJFg/s640/blogger-image-1246541868.jpg"></a></div>Oh yeah...That's right. I know how to wear a hat.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Until next time,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Jared</div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-20750245831745379242013-10-17T18:03:00.002-07:002013-10-17T18:14:18.009-07:00Finally gone off the deep end<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Be vewwwwwy, vewwy quiet....</span></div>
<br>
We are hunting wabbits!<div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-EXeuariLxYI/UmCKgxuzDbI/AAAAAAAAAkM/9L9ZtP2SuWY/s640/blogger-image-579211336.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-EXeuariLxYI/UmCKgxuzDbI/AAAAAAAAAkM/9L9ZtP2SuWY/s640/blogger-image-579211336.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-yxaypOIvTYs/UmCKhjpOAUI/AAAAAAAAAkU/JQkDKQhSMoQ/s640/blogger-image--69782059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-yxaypOIvTYs/UmCKhjpOAUI/AAAAAAAAAkU/JQkDKQhSMoQ/s640/blogger-image--69782059.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">The above was so cute I almost died. Beware of googling things like "cute bunnies"... As Admiral Ackbar would say,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Ul5TnQIzPZY/UmCLaHP79UI/AAAAAAAAAkc/zdTxsmzU3-Y/s640/blogger-image--1709404518.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Ul5TnQIzPZY/UmCLaHP79UI/AAAAAAAAAkc/zdTxsmzU3-Y/s640/blogger-image--1709404518.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Regards,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Jared</div><br></div><br>
<br>
<br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-75095426736781119202013-10-14T14:17:00.001-07:002013-10-14T14:17:54.779-07:00Haiku Very Much<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Autumn: A Haiku</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Such a beautiful</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">intro to the nut-punch that</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">is prairie winter</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-VzL4X38TgGQ/UlxfgPqS6AI/AAAAAAAAAjk/arywiliZ11w/s640/blogger-image-1750887328.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-VzL4X38TgGQ/UlxfgPqS6AI/AAAAAAAAAjk/arywiliZ11w/s640/blogger-image-1750887328.jpg"></a></div><br><div>Ah-<i>THANK</i> you.</div><div><br></div><div>Jared</div><div><br></div><div>P.S. More to come this week.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-38207455935029303232013-09-24T20:54:00.000-07:002013-09-24T20:56:06.533-07:00Excuses, ExcusesSo I've been gone for a while;<br />
<br />
I was out of town.<br />
<br />
I was busy saving the local squirrels from their chipmunk oppressors.<br />
<br />
I had the measles on just my tongue.<br />
<br />
I contracted Spanish Flu in a foreign country that was NOT of Spanish origin.<br />
<br />
I was stung by a bee that had rabies, and flown by medevac chopper to a specialist in Dallas, Texas, who pronounced me dead on arrival. I was subsequently resurrected by a voodoo priest who instantly regretted it once I started talking, and dumped me in the swamp; I swam home just now.<br />
<br />
I heard someone I know had chicken pox, and seeing as I have never had it, I hid in my basement until yesterday, gradually thawing meat from the freezer, heating it up in the dryer, and eating it a little bit at a time.<br />
<br />
I was hypnotized by my iPad into robbing several convenience stores, only to eventually take control of my body again and take so many horrific pictures of Rob Schneider movies that the iPad's camera killed itself to escape the pain. The rest of the iPad soon followed as the Schneider rot overtook it in a gangrenous fashion.<br />
<br />
I was spirited away to a movie festival where the star of a little-foreign-film-that-could conscripted me as his bodyguard and had me follow him around a room whilst not wearing normal pants.<br />
<br />
I ate a rare african beetle that gave me useless super powers. Hilarity ensued.<br />
<br />
I held a pair of scissors at my throat, threatening to cut my beard off... to an empty room. It ended in a stalemate- the empty room's negotiation techniques were not to be underestimated.<br />
<br />
I applied a screen protector to my face, and I don't give off as much glare in sunlight anymore. I am also protected from scratches by keys, change, and the like.<br />
<br />
I was genuinely frightened to death by a Facebook post about how the world is like, being so screwed up by like, the oil companies, you guys....<br />
<br />
I drove to Canmore, Alberta, and acted like a jerk to a duck. (<a href="http://www.woopguy.com/" target="_blank">That one's for you, Steven</a>)<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
I got involved in a high-stakes poker game where underwear was the ONLY currency. Hilarity did not ensue.<br />
<br />
I asked a passing stranger if he had seen my mother, and then snuck into his car's trunk when he wasn't looking. After a lengthy nap, I woke up in Iowa. Strangely enough, I had a "CUSTOMS APPROVED" sticker attached to my sleeve when I awoke.<br />
<br />
I joined a circus where the people all suffered from social maladies instead of physical ones. Highlights: "The Incredible Flop-Sweat at Birthdays Man", and the "Woman With the High-Pitched Nervous-Sounding Laughter At the Office Party". Also the "Guy Who Really Hated All the Unnecessary Changes Made for the Screen in the Lord Of The Rings Movies". I soon left, because I "Can't Stand Circuses and Fairs and Must Tell Everyone Within Earshot Loudly If The Topic Arises."<br />
<br />
I was on vacation.<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
Here's to you, Big Shooter:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YltrxJTlfVE/UkJdBOaOp_I/AAAAAAAAAiA/gd3eTDx7pgM/s1600/IMG_20130921_113947.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YltrxJTlfVE/UkJdBOaOp_I/AAAAAAAAAiA/gd3eTDx7pgM/s320/IMG_20130921_113947.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span id="goog_284257117"></span><span id="goog_284257118"></span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-81631840304396032262013-09-03T16:20:00.001-07:002013-09-03T23:01:51.860-07:00A Stand-offish Sort of Cooing<p dir="ltr">I just had an encounter with a pigeon, and I am pretty sure that by the end, that pigeon bore me ill will. And so...</p>
<p dir="ltr"><b>Pigeon Religion: A Haiku</b></p>
<p dir="ltr">Rat of the sky, your<br>
Sarcastic coo-mockery <br>
Bites deep, you coo-jerk. </p><p dir="ltr"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-7WfvkLs_P3M/UibKm-xJL1I/AAAAAAAAAgk/HlBTQD0RMDg/s640/blogger-image--1085813979.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-7WfvkLs_P3M/UibKm-xJL1I/AAAAAAAAAgk/HlBTQD0RMDg/s640/blogger-image--1085813979.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p>
<p dir="ltr">...Ah<i>THANK</i> you. <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Regards,</p><p dir="ltr">Jared</p><p dir="ltr"><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">What I am listening to:</p><p dir="ltr"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JX8x69fE-Dc/UibKmJrNzPI/AAAAAAAAAgc/35n-8r2SVjI/s640/blogger-image--597205456.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-JX8x69fE-Dc/UibKmJrNzPI/AAAAAAAAAgc/35n-8r2SVjI/s640/blogger-image--597205456.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Artist: Derek Webb</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Album: I Was Wrong, I'm Sorry & I Love You</span></p><p dir="ltr">Derek Webb has always been prolific, and this album is no exception. It is also the anniversary of his first solo album- She Must and Shall Go Free. His message takes new forms, but remains the same at the core- redemption is not something we can do, or sell, or buy; it comes from one man alone, and that is the person of Jesus Christ. </p><p dir="ltr">I love this guy's stuff so much that I bought the DELUXE deluxe package from his website for this new album- digital download, autographed CD, t-shirt, coffee mug, stickers, audio commentary, video, I think maybe some buttons... and a few more things. It cost me 50 bucks. Totally worth it. I need him to keep making music, so he can have my money. I saw him in concert (he visited Saskatoon of all places!) and he was a humble and genuine guy with an easy laugh, but with a sharp tongue for those who would use Christ as a marketing tool. He is who he is, and that guy is someone whose music I will always follow.</p><p dir="ltr"><br></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-19266147032989852322013-08-19T20:56:00.002-07:002013-08-20T01:10:57.397-07:00The String Cheese Experiment, Pt. 3: Dark of the Moon<ul class="uiList _2ne _4kg" id="webMessengerRecentMessages" role="log">
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<span class="null">Welp, this blog just passed 2000 HITS while I was being lazy and not blogging regularly on my vacation time!!<br>
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To celebrate, I am going to bring back the "Give me a movie title and I invent a synopsis from scratch" game!! I asked <a href="http://about.me/stevenpam" target="_blank">the intrepid Australian Stallion, Mr. Steven Pam</a>, for some more titles, he kindly obliged, and I picked my favorites and went nuts. For those just joining us who have not seen this little game before, go to <a href="http://www.jaredfunk.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-string-cheese-experiment.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.jaredfunk.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-string-cheese-experiment-pt-deux.html" target="_blank">here</a> to brush up a bit before we proceed.<br>
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<br><b><u>"An Edumacation" </u></b></span><br>
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<span class="null">It's not easy being a kid, and little Donny Marcus has had enough. He is starting his own school for kids his age, where the teachers are kids too, and the rules are open to interpretation! Donny Marcus was a normal kid with normal problems until his next door neighbour kicked the bucket, setting off a wacky chain of events! Old Mrs.Crowley was a chain-smoking, hard-case 96-year-old who lived only for her cats, and left her sizable fortune to <a href="http://whiskerstotailspetsitting.com/files/611.jpg" target="_blank">Mr. Peepers, her overweight tabby</a>; A story we've all seen before... But wait!</span></div><div class="_38 direction_ltr"><span class="null"> *record scratch* </span></div><div class="_38 direction_ltr"><span class="null">What happens when Mr. Peepers dies, and leaves HIS fortune to Donny, the kid who always fed him tuna?!? What to do with over 40 MILLION dollars? Why, buy your own school, where the teachers are kids, homework doesn't exist, and bullies have to spend lunchtime in the "Wedgie Machine!! But what happens when the adults catch on to where their kids are going every day? </span><br>
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<span class="null"><b><u>"Bill Clinton's Love Child"</u></b><br>
<b><u></u></b> In the tradition of "Dreamgirls", this rollicking tale gives us a peek into the world of an R&B sensation! When Jimmy, Jack, Ricky, and John were in college, all they dreamt about was meeting the girl-group Destiny's Child; they ate, drank, and slept the entire Destiny's Child catalogue. They even went so far as to form an awkward all-male Destiny's Child cover band! Well, back that thing up...</span></div><div class="_38 direction_ltr"><span class="null">*record scratch* </span></div><div class="_38 direction_ltr"><span class="null">...because dreams DO come true! After Jack wins front row tickets to a Destiny's Child reunion concert, the boys get their chance, and the new all-boy girl band Bill Clinton's Love Child is born! See them go big with their first hit single "Pop My Collar", and the controversy that surrounds the pro-upper-middle-class-white-male anthem! Meet their mostly Japanese fanbase! See them spiral out of control into excess, culminating in the infamous VH1 Music Awards speech and subsequent "mooning" incident that gave them their bad-boy reputation...all up-close and personal!</span><br>
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<span class="null"><b><u>"Where In The World is Edwin Carter III?"</u></b></span><br>
Edwin Carter is just, y'know, this guy, and his friends are like, "Where is he", and "We haven't heard from him, and his cell phone goes straight to voicemail", and "He hasn't shown up to his job at Starbucks for a week, and that's not like him". They're also like "His bank accounts haven't been touched, and we went to his place to check on him 'cause we are kind of getting concerned now, and his plants were dead, and his cat seemed like it hadn't eaten for days". Also, his mom was like "I don't know where my baby boy is, and why haven't you people done anything to find him", and the police are like, "We suspect foul play, and anyone with information needs to come forward immediately"...<br>
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So yeah... </div><div class="_38 direction_ltr">*record scratch* </div><div class="_38 direction_ltr">...Pretty sure that guy's dead in a ditch somewhere.</div><div class="_38 direction_ltr"><br>
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...And that's it for round three of the Synopsis Game!!! These are getting harder every time! Whew!<br>
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I love you all for reading and validating me, and here's to another 2000 hits! I swear I will update more regularly from here on out,<br>
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Jared<br>
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I am listening to: The Civil Wars.<br>
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Both albums.<br>
I was apparently the last person on earth to discover how good they are. I am more than a little ashamed, and bummed, as they have already broken up!<br>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-1744528368093680982013-07-24T16:13:00.000-07:002013-07-24T16:13:54.923-07:00BGVs AWAAAAAAY!!!Happily, I just got finished hearing someone who is much better than me add their voice to my album.<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/juliadawnmusic" target="_blank">Julia Dawn</a> is a local singer/songwriter who has also worked with my own current personal hero (Colin Richet of <a href="http://www.revelationstudios.ca/" target="_blank">Revelation Studios</a>). We attend the same church, and have gotten to make music together a lot in the last while; most recently, I have been singing with her team at church, and she backed me up on piano and sweet harmonies when I recently performed a song from the upcoming EP called We Come To You.<br />
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<b><a href="http://www.th3simpl3things.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank">Check out Julia's blog here</a></b>.<br />
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I will be having another very talented friend named Chelsea Boyd come in to add vocals as well later, and I expect to be just as disappointed in myself when I hear her sing my stuff as I was today hearing Julia. The whole time I was thinking "what if she just sang ALL the songs herself?" She will be modest, of course, but Julia has a killer set of pipes, and hearing her in the mix just brought it up to another level. She will be a listed guest vocalist on two of the songs: Face of Him and We Come To You, and I am so flattered that she respects my music and wanted to be an ongoing part of it!<br />
After recording was done, Colin and Julia and I were listening to another artist that Colin is working with. After it was done playing, I interrupted the conversation to say,<br />
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"Hey guys... I am gonna be real here for a moment. If you are really honest with yourselves, can you admit that sometimes, when you hear someone who has that much talent, you just kind of want to stuff them into a potato sack and drown them in the river? ...Just a bit? Because there can only be so much talent in the world, and they are hogging more than their fair share?"<br />
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I got some weird looks from the room at that point, I don't mind telling you.<br />
That is the kind of day it has been. </div>
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I am currently listening to two albums manically:<br />
Artist: Abandoned Pools<br />
Album: Somnambulist<br />
Yes, the album title means "a sleepwalker". This is a bit of a departure from his previous album (a lot of the harder edges toned down), but is still an amazing introspective album with reflections on opportunities squandered and the road not taken. Thoughtful stuff, and well crafted.<br />
Highlights: Focus, If Only<br />
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Artist: OneRepublic<br />
Album: Natives<br />
Just gold all the way through. Ryan Tedder samples a ton of different styles and genres, but still manages to make a cohesive LONG album. The steady beats punctuate the earnest and sometimes tongue in cheek lyrics.<br />
Highlights: Most of the bloody album, but if I absolutely HAVE to pick... Counting Stars, What You Wanted, Can't Stop, Burning Bridges, Preacher... Seriously. Buy this album.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-49553770618589087082013-07-16T12:58:00.001-07:002013-08-20T01:15:44.801-07:00Radio Woe<div dir="ltr">
I just heard the WORST SONG EVER, and after incredulously sitting through the whole thing, it was no surprise to me whatsoever that it was done by that meathead Toby Keith. This is not only everything wrong with country music, but might actually be everything wrong with ALL music. It is that terrible. </div>
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It is so bad that I want to go and illegally download a million copies of his album, just to hurt his intellectual property somehow. Though now that I say it, this could not in any sense of the word be called "intellectual".</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
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I am so mad this exists that I want to punch a kitten.</div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
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I am going to post the link, but with a disclaimer: if you like kittens, do not click this link. </div>
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<a href="http://youtu.be/HxUuDPNbkJk">http://youtu.be/HxUuDPNbkJk</a></div><div dir="ltr"><br></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-36085240414592005962013-07-15T14:00:00.001-07:002013-07-15T14:00:32.344-07:00The Contest Completed*We met our goal!<br />
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Between the Indiegogo project and some direct donations, we now have a fully-funded CD project, with the ability to make full cover art and design and get CDs printed!!! Thanks so much to everyone who donated, and know that I will put the money to use in making a great final product!!! Thanks also to Colin, my illustrious producer and friend, who suggested I try this route in the first place!!</div>
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I had been struggling with the concept of essentially hitting up friends and family for cash ( I still am, a little), but he and My Beautiful Wife encouraged me to not undervalue my art, and realize that y'all will invest in seeing this happen only if you want to!! To relieve my burgeoning guilt, I even left it generally alone for a couple weeks, as I figured I had social-media-bombed everyone quite enough... </div>
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So there it is; <a href="https://www.facebook.com/whisperedwordsproject" target="_blank">Whispered Words: The Revelation Sessions E.P</a>. is fully funded, and now I can just concentrate on making sure I stay true to the vision Colin and I have for this album. I will thank you in advance for your patience, as Colin and I are also very particular people where quality is concerned, and are spending a little more time on it than originally planned. I had planned to be able to release the advance digital version to everyone who donated in early July, but the availability of some amazing people to contribute to the recording, as well as some additional sound tweaking made it a no-brainer to take a bit more time and get a better result. I am so excited to have some local talent (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/juliadawnmusic" target="_blank">Julia Dawn</a> and Chelsea Boyd) to add their vocal depth to my little E.P., and cannot wait to hear how they sound!!</div>
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In the meantime, I will keep everyone updated, but thankfully, no more pleading for cash in relation to the music project...</div>
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... I will probably still need bail money, though; I recently ripped the tags off of several pillows and a mattress in my residence. I am told that is very bad, and that certain authorities may get involved.</div>
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So yeah... bail.<br />
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Ciao!<br />
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Jared<br />
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*Extra bonus points for everyone who knew that was a song title; your reward is an almost hipster-level feeling of smug superiority. For everyone else, don't even bother looking it up... I'm SO over it already.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08651293647614487471noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753493135447536733.post-32795889176866083252013-07-12T19:05:00.004-07:002013-07-12T19:08:35.211-07:00Music Music MusicAs I write this, there are only 29 hours left for you all to donate to the <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/whispered-words-the-revelation-sessions-e-p/x/2345013?c=gallery" target="_blank">Indiegogo project</a> that is funding the completion of my debut album, under the band name <a href="https://www.facebook.com/whisperedwordsproject" target="_blank">Whispered Words</a>. This album has been a labor of love that has brought new insight to my songwriting, has solidified a fledgling friendship with Colin, my producer, and has been fulfilling me as an artist so much that I cannot express it.<br />
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The aforementioned<a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/whispered-words-the-revelation-sessions-e-p/x/2345013?c=gallery" target="_blank"> Indiegogo</a> project was a rather vulnerable experiment for me, as I do not have an established fanbase yet, as I do not have any albums yet, and therefore do not have a solid fanbase to guarantee the funding of the first album... it is circular, and depended largely on people giving to an as-yet-unknown entity. I was worried, and scared of the rejection of not having any donations at all!<br />
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It made it all the more special, then, when people started to donate. I want to thank those of you who have already donated and encourage anyone else who is willing but has been procrastinating or putting it off to go to the project website below and listen to the songs in the "Gallery" section, and see if you feel you want to still donate to make it happen. As it is, I won't be recouping any of the production costs, but we are VERY close to covering the cost of getting actual CD's cut and printed professionally, which was my primary goal. <br />
If you simply cannot donate, please consider giving your support in other ways! Post the link to the site on your blog or Facebook page, go to the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/whisperedwordsproject" target="_blank">Facebook band page</a> and "Like" it! Link to this blog from yours! Anything you do is appreciated and is a blessing to me.<br />
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Once more: <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/whispered-words-the-revelation-sessions-e-p/x/2345013?c=gallery">http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/whispered-words-the-revelation-sessions-e-p/x/2345013?c=gallery</a><br />
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Thanks so much!!<br />
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Jared<br />
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P.S. More humor and fart jokes next week. I promise. ;)<br />
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