And so it begins... I will instantly make up a movie name, and then come up with a fake synopsis just as quickly!
Movie: "The String Cheese Experiment"
This is a rags-to-riches-to-rags story about four thirtysomething college washouts who find sudden fame on the college music circuit when they form an ironic retro ska band!
Tom, Rick, Jerry and Jones (affectionately called "Wobbs" by his friends) are part of the local community college's janitorial staff; the college that they were all expelled from in senior year due to a toilet-paper-and-petroleum-jelly prank gone horribly wrong; a freshman died, and did not die well. These four misfits have one last chance to make good!
Movie: "'Talkin' 'Bout Willis"
Willis Rashburn is a down-on-his-luck Bible salesman with a secret- his pet chihuahua can talk! Watch as Willis and Chauncy try to find financial stability in the Deep South in the digital age! Deliverance country never seems as lonely and rape-y when you've got a friend by your side... Who wags! And farts! And licks himself in inappropriate places!
Movie: "When My Heart Finds Windex"
When you've got a high-flying job like being a window-washer on the Empire State Building, romance is sure to find you! And then, so will a serial killer!
Jack Priestly is a window-washer with a plan: witness someone rich doing something stupid from his unique "viewpoint", and then blackmail the heck out of them! Little does he know that he will find true love through a 50th floor window- only to see her be killed in front of his eyes. And when the motor on his cleaning scaffold goes on the fritz, Jack will subjected to 50 floors of terror as he tries to beat the killer to the bottom!
Movie: "Once Upon A Ficus"
Mike Regent is a normal guy who discovers an amazing secret- the ficus tree in his office is actually a four-hundred-year-old gypsy princess!
At night, the ficus turns into Jezel, a smooth-talking, strikingly beautiful modern art sculptor who is taking the art world by storm! After a particularly hard day at the office, Mike falls asleep at his desk. Little does he know that the ficus in his law firm's lobby will change his life forever. Will Mike find true love with a shrubbery? Will Jezel finally make her masterwork? Will the night janitorial staff's growing suspicions be shared with the world? Get ready for a "tree"-ring circus of hilarity!!
That's enough for now, but hey... I could do this allllll day.
UPDATE: There is already a band out there called The String Cheese Incident. Check them out. I was speechless for ten minutes. I swear I had no idea!
Jared
Listening to:
Artist: Matthew Mayfield
Album: Banquet of Ghosts
This man knows how to layer a song until something truly amazing sneaks up on you. The sound is stripped-back acoustic with strong Southern roots, and the voice is fragile, vulnerable, wavery yet measured, and the man hits every single note without fail. It has been a awhile since I heard someone laid so bare in each song. Get this.
P.S. Don't be afraid to leave comments! I can guarantee I will respond.
You realize that some movie exec is going to be drunkenly browsing the internet some night and totally steal your ideas. I'm quite certain I've seen plots that make less sense when browsing NetFlix.
ReplyDeleteThat would be awesome, and would prove so many of my points about the current movie industry! I may do another random movie title post jist to see how long I can go before the well runs dry...
DeleteYou missed your window. The 1980's. Now they're only making videogame spinoffs and ripping off 19th Century playwrights.
ReplyDeleteYou are being rather hard on the industry, sir! Not everyone has a tub and rubber ducky to fall back on. ;) Besides, you forgot comic spinoffs, sequel spinoffs, and actual spinoffs of the 1980's in question...
Delete"The Bicycle Chronicles"
ReplyDelete"My Grandmother was an Octopus"
"It's my party, and I'll rock back and forth incessantly if I want to"
...go!