Saturday, 20 April 2013

Hairy Houdini

This is a true story.

I just got home from work. I came in the door, let the dog out of the kennel, gave him a scratch and a "good boy!", put him back in the kennel, latched it, and took a ten minute shower (for me, this is BIG. I do not shower for fun; I shower to get clean and get out. My dad instilled a healthy fear of ballooning water bill costs from an early age). I finished the shower, grabbed a towel, and then heard the strangest thing: the clack of pooch nails on the kitchen and dining room laminate. I called the dog's name, and heard a little whine. What the heck?!? How did he get out?

Brief disclaimer, for those of you who know me well: No, My Beautiful Wife and I have not purchased a pooch; This is not my dog.

This dog is a loaner.

Anyway, I went to investigate, and sure enough, there was Bently the Beagle, trying to look innocent while clearly on the lam. He might as well have been wearing an adorable little prison uniform. I looked in his eyes; He was swimming in guilt. I said his name in a disappointed tone, and he hung his head and slunk guiltily back to the kennel. I checked the kennel latches and was not able to ascertain how he escaped, so I hatched a plan: lock him back inside, double-check the locks, go find a seat on the stairs, and see what happens.

Five minutes later, it happened again. A thunking sound, the patter of little paws on laminate, and he poked his head around the corner of the dining room, peering into the darkness of the stairwell. He undoubtedly spied me trying to blend in... Doggie night vision is better than mine. This time, however, a triumphant air accompanied him. "You know what," I thought, "let the dog have his secrets. After all, magicians are supposed to guard their best tricks." I gave him a scratch, some food, and let him up on the couch to rest his head on my lap. After all, the only other alternatives:

1. Upon further investigation, discover that I cannot even latch a dog cage reliably and should therefore not be allowed to use forks to eat, lest I accidentally stab myself in the eye.

2. Upon further investigation, discover without a doubt that I did indeed latch the dog cage reliably, and be confronted with the awful truth about which of the two of us is the smarter.

As I scratch him behind the ears and he rolls over and presents his belly for further demonstration of affection, it occurs to me that the stalemate isn't such a bad option.

Fin.


What I am listening to:
Song: Flutter Girl
album: Euphoria Morning
Artist: Chris Cornell

This album is the first solo effort from Chris Cornell, and remains the best. Soundgarden had just broken up, and Chris was looking to distance himself stylistically. What came of it was an eclectic yet bluesy, vocally-driven tour de force. With the exception of Soundgarden's seminal album SUPERUNKNOWN, this remains his best work. And the VOICE... Chris Cornell is still bar none the best rock singer on the planet.
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Location:Lynd Cres,Saskatoon,Canada