Monday, 19 August 2013

The String Cheese Experiment, Pt. 3: Dark of the Moon

  • Welp, this blog just passed 2000 HITS while I was being lazy and not blogging regularly on my vacation time!!

    To celebrate, I am going to bring back the "Give me a movie title and I invent a synopsis from scratch" game!! I asked the intrepid Australian Stallion, Mr. Steven Pam, for some more titles, he kindly obliged, and I picked my favorites and went nuts.  For those just joining us who have not seen this little game before, go to here and here to brush up a bit before we proceed.

    "An Edumacation" 

    It's not easy being a kid, and little Donny Marcus has had enough. He is starting his own school for kids his age, where the teachers are kids too, and the rules are open to interpretation! Donny Marcus was a normal kid with normal problems until his next door neighbour kicked the bucket, setting off a wacky chain of events! Old Mrs.Crowley was a chain-smoking, hard-case 96-year-old who lived only for her cats, and left her sizable fortune to Mr. Peepers, her overweight tabby; A story we've all seen before... But wait!
     *record scratch* 
    What happens when Mr. Peepers dies, and leaves HIS fortune to Donny, the kid who always fed him tuna?!? What to do with over 40 MILLION dollars? Why, buy your own school, where the teachers are kids, homework doesn't exist, and bullies have to spend lunchtime in the "Wedgie Machine!! But what happens when the adults catch on to where their kids are going every day? 

    "Bill Clinton's Love Child"
     In the tradition of "Dreamgirls", this rollicking tale gives us a peek into the world of an R&B sensation! When Jimmy, Jack, Ricky, and John were in college, all they dreamt about was meeting the girl-group Destiny's Child; they ate, drank, and slept the entire Destiny's Child catalogue. They even went so far as to form an awkward all-male Destiny's Child cover band! Well, back that thing up...
    *record scratch* 
    ...because dreams DO come true! After Jack wins front row tickets to a Destiny's Child reunion concert, the boys get their chance, and the new all-boy girl band Bill Clinton's Love Child is born!  See them go big with their first hit single "Pop My Collar", and the controversy that surrounds the pro-upper-middle-class-white-male anthem! Meet their mostly Japanese fanbase! See them spiral out of control into excess, culminating in the infamous VH1 Music Awards speech and subsequent "mooning" incident that gave them their bad-boy reputation...all up-close and personal!

    "Where In The World is Edwin Carter III?"
    Edwin Carter is just, y'know, this guy, and his friends are like, "Where is he", and "We haven't heard from him, and his cell phone goes straight to voicemail", and "He hasn't shown up to his job at Starbucks for a week, and that's not like him". They're also like "His bank accounts haven't been touched, and we went to his place to check on him 'cause we are kind of getting concerned now, and his plants were dead, and his cat seemed like it hadn't eaten for days". Also, his mom was like "I don't know where my baby boy is, and why haven't you people done anything to find him", and the police are like, "We suspect foul play, and anyone with information needs to come forward immediately"...

    So yeah... 
    *record scratch* 
    ...Pretty sure that guy's dead in a ditch somewhere.


    ...And that's it for round three of the Synopsis Game!!! These are getting harder every time! Whew!

    I love you all for reading and validating me, and here's to another 2000 hits! I swear I will update more regularly from here on out,


    I am listening to: The Civil Wars.

    Both albums.
    I was apparently the last person on earth to discover how good they are. I am more than a little ashamed, and bummed, as they have already broken up!

    Mr. Peepers