Monday, 1 April 2013

Things You Cannot Do When You Have Inexplicably Injured Your Neck

1. Sleep. There is no physical ailment you can have that cannot be made 50 times worse by not being able to get more than an hour of accumulated shuteye in a night.

2. Achieve an even semi-comfortable position, whether currently vertical or horizontal.

3. Hold a book comfortably.

4. Reach for the remote without yelping in pain like one of those small annoying dogs.

5. Enjoy food.

6. Enjoy watching old Star Trek on Netflix.

7. Enjoy watching NEWER Star Trek on Netflix.

8. Okay, enjoy watching really anything.

9. Also, video games are right out.

10. Okay, this could go on forever, so I will just say that this sucks and that all I can really do right now is sit in an awkward position in the exact centre of my couch and type on the iPad. Briefly.

11. Please send help.